I'm not lost. I'm taking the scenic route.

A lot of this is a love note to my wife but there will occasionally be a random thought thrown in every once in a while.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Merging Lanes

This last weekend was quite possibly the best one that my wife and I have spent with each other in the last 18 months. We were invited to an adoptive parents weekend retreat in Guthrie and had a ball. Joy got to go antique shopping and I got to sit through bachelor's level psychology. We also got to meet and get to know new people who have also adopted or fostered children.
But the best part of the weekend was what happened between Joy and me. We connected in a way that we haven't in a while. No, it was not in a physical way, it was better, deeper. We enjoyed being around each other away from the kids. The only thing we had with us to focus on was each other. There were two highlights for me. The first one came when we got the results of a compatibility test that we took. We were spot on with each other and the places were we did not match up we knew exactly how we handled and coped. The second was when the workers of the weekend had us watch a scene from "The Story of Us". This scene had a fantastic effect on both of us. I guess there actually three high points. On the way home we shared things with each other that we haven't in a while and needed to.
Back to the movie. After just this one scene we had to see the rest of it. I went and rented it and we watched it last night. Watching this movie was like watching every argument Joy and I have ever had. It was strange to watch as someone else seemed to live out 12 months of our lives in 2 hours in our living room. The thing that made it great was being able to see their reactions objectively and knowing exactly how they felt and what they really meant. So often the feelings are so strong that the words seem to come out in anger when what you really want to say is, "I'm not mad at you! I am mad at this situation we have created and are living in and I am scared that I am loosing you and all I want to do is bring you closer to me but everytime I try all I do is push you away farther and that scares me even more!" This goes on until finally something happens that takes all the strength you can muster up to try and break out. But that still isn't enough so you are forced to rely on this person you have chosen to be your mate and when you find out they felt the same way the whole time that is when you finally get to completely fall apart, together. And as both of you are lying in pieces in the mess you have created you start putting yourself back together. Only this time, your pieces have gotten mixed up with the pieces of your mate and in the mess it is hard to tell one part from the other. So when it is all finished and rebuilt the two of you are one. Each of you share more of the other and you are stronger for it. If you are having trouble getting along with the one you love I suggest this movie.

Joy kept asking me why I have not commented on her blog. The reason is that I do not think enough people would get to see it if it were hidden in her comments section so here it is.

Gordo says:
I love you so much and this life we are creating. I told you a long time that our life was going to be a success story and it is. We have over come so much in our lives together and our kids will tell our story to their husbands, their children and their grandchildren. I want to live a life that makes our kids say, "I want to have a marriage like mom and dad's" I think we are off to a good start. I love you Princess.


  • At 7:30 PM, Blogger Joygirl said…

    I love you I love you I love you...

    Sometimes tyou are so profound in the things you write...

    You da SH** baby!

  • At 11:24 PM, Blogger NeverEnough said…

    I need to wipe away my tears and read this again...


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