I'm not lost. I'm taking the scenic route.

A lot of this is a love note to my wife but there will occasionally be a random thought thrown in every once in a while.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Something That Has Stayed With Me

"She got everything sold. If you didn't get here in time then she is sorry. She sold it to first come first serve. She left this morning. To everyone that is CALLING my house, please stop. And u know who u are. She is not here and I am not going to tolerate the constant abuse of my telephone. Again, she sold everything. Thanks"
"Love is butterflies in your stomach, emptiness in your head, and sweet nothings in your ear. My love, forgive me for who I was, what I did, and what I cannot change. Love me now for who I can be, and what I plan to accomplish. If you can't, then just love me because my heart loves you, unconditionally."
"Pain and Suffering is inevitable but Misery is optional"

I got this from a group that I belong to. I can only asume that something very terrible happened in this relationship. What could have happened to where she sold everything? Was it unfaithfulness? Lies? Did someone not live up to their end of the deal? I will never know but something about it made it impossible for me to delete. I think it was the sadness and hurt in the words. It looks like the second paragraph was written by the girl in the relationship and is a sincere attempt at an apology but the hurt was just to deep for him to forgive and still be with her. I guess some wounds are just to deep and to great and cause a relationship to eventually bleed to death.
But how many times have we been in the position of the offender? I bet everyone has at least once and done something so terrible and aweful to the one they loved and felt the way the person does in the apology. I know I have. To be able to describe what that love felt like and then beg forgiveness so you can have that feeling back. Sometimes its the getting caught for the things we have done that is enough to change us forever. Sometimes it is the not getting caught.
I do hope that the people involved in this are able to pick up and move on with their lives.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

I Think I Have Narcolepsy?

I had a super time with my wife this weekend. Friday she let me take her on a date. At first she was not to excited but then I mentioned Cattleman's. I had her at that. (Cattleman's is a steakhouse here in Oklahoma)
We got there just in time as the PBR (Professional Bull Riders) is in town. We had a wonderful dinner and after that we went to Barnes & Noble. We looked at books, flirted with each other between aisles. I even stole a passionate kiss in the self-improvement section. We went to the cafe' and had a coffee and read questions out of a book and answered them. They were silly questions, I will give you an example: Would you rather eat 10lbs. with nothing to drink, or 3lbs. of peanutbutter with nothing to drink? It was a lot of fun. We bought a similiar question book and came home. We laid in bed for an hour gong through that question book. Let me just say that my wife looked super sexy curled up in our down comforter which brings me to why ths entry is titled the way it is. So my wife is looking oh so sexy and we have had a great evening. It is getting late and we are ready to turn out the lights but she has to go take off her makeup. This takes about five minutes. Somewhere from the time she went into the bathroom and came out, I fell asleep. Dead asleep. I mean the house on fire would not wake me up sleep. How did this happen? Joy was looking sexy and feeling sexy. I was feeling sexy yet I fell fast asleep. I did not want to fall asleep but in about 2 minutes I was out.
I did learn something from that experience though. A good date with Joy does not have to end with sex. We had the best time we have had in a long time and our clothes were on. Well most of them. I would rather have one night were we go out and enjoy each others company and everything we do together than a weeks worth of not enoying my wife anywhere but the bedroom. I love her.

Monday, January 23, 2006

It's Hard To Keep Everyone Happy

My wife says she hates the pic that I posted of her (scroll down) because she says she looks like a smart-ass and you cannot tell she is wearing any clothes. But people said (Ok, One person) they wanted to see my wife naked in Playboy and this is the closest anyone is going to see my wife naked ever again. So here you go.
Back to my wifes comments. She looks like a smart-ass because she is, in fact, a smart-ass. And yes she is wearing clothing. I would not put nude pics of my wife on the internet.
But for a small fee you can see some of me.:o)))

Saturday, January 21, 2006


This has been a MISERABLE DAY!!! Last night we were watching a movie and Joy and I fell asleep. Her dad came over so we got up but we did not feel quite right. After he left I went back to bed only to be awakened by Joy screaming for me. Our 3 year old had thrown up. That was just the beginning. I told Joy I did not feel well either. She echoed the same thing just before she ran to the bathroom to throw up. While she was gone I was holding our sick 3 year old on the couch when she decides to throw up again...on me. Gross, but hey - I can take it. I'm a dad. Our 14 year old was trying to help the sick parents and sick little sister and doing a great job. We get buckets for me, Joy and the baby and commence to be miserable together in our bedroom. At about 1:30 in the morning the 14 year old comes into the bedroom and says she threw up too... allllll over her bed. Great! 4 out of six. (Our 6 year old had this earlier this week and was staying at her grandma's house thankfully) She came into our bedroom and camped out on the floor to share her misery with ours. I think we may have gotten 3 hours worth of sleep last night. Puke-a-palooza 2006. SOOOLD OUT!
So then today came whirrling in - - and we all got fevers. At one point I was feeling like crap. When Joy took my temp it was 103.7. I wonder why I felt bad? I let Joy fall asleep for a couple hours and when she woke up she was burning up at 103.5. Rikki stayed at a steady 101-102 and the baby was up and down. Tylenol cocktails for everyone!
Here it is now, 5:15 in the afternoon and I have finally ventured out of the bedroom for more than five minutes. I'm ready to go back to bed...

May the God's be praised for our Mommy - she came over bearing 6 two-liters of Sprite and homemade chicken and noodles. Oh, and Lysol - - plenty of Lysol!

Tomorrow has to be better.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

How Flattering...I Think?

My beautiful wife was online the other day and got am IM from somebody. It said she was very pretty and that he liked the pics he had seen of her. At first she did not know where he had seen pics of her. He then showed her and she realized it was from her blog. He complimented her on her beauty and asked if she had ever thought about posing in Playboy. She laughed and said no. He said ok, complimented her again and signed off.

I like the fact the he appreciates how pretty my wife is and that he was fairly respective of her but still. This guy wants to see my wife naked! What the hell is that about? I guess I should be flattered too that another guy finds my wife attractive. Geez there are girls that find my wife attractive but they cannot see her naked. I am the only one who gets to do that and it is usually not often enough.

I have heard the saying, "If you want to live a happy life make an ugly woman your wife." I totally ignored that advice. I have chosen a life of misery with a beautiful girl. God help me.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Route 34

Just had a birthday the other day. Nothing spectacular just turned 34. Not really a big milestone but like with all birthdays I look back over my life to see what I have accomplished and what I have missed over the past year. On a personal level the year had its major ups and major downs. On the up side, Joy and I adopted 4 beautiful girls and have a big family now. On the down side, I almost lost my wife after years of being selfish. On the up side again, I was finally able to see that and save my marriage with her help and a lot of prayer. I mean a LOT of prayer.
The professional side of this last year is pretty much a wash. I was able to build the largest class at the university were I was working but I also got laid off in November and am still looking for work.
I guess the biggest suprise about my birthday was that my mom forgot about it. I had flash backs of the movies Sixteen Candles where the Samantha, played by Molly Ringwald says, "They actually forgot my fucking birthday." Joy had to call my mom and find out why she had not called me yet. When I finally talked to her I laughed and told her not to tell my sister or dad they forgot my b-day because I wanted to see just how long it took them to remember. My sister called that evening and said she had been busy all day but I have yet to get a call from my dad. You are probably asking yourself, "Who's parent forgets their oldest sons birthday?" Well mine do. Does this make me sad? No, I figure this is good guilt trip material.
My wife did not forget though. She gave me a great b-day present. What was it? None of your business.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Still Hanging In There

Here it is day 7 of the new year and I have been able to keep most of my resolutions. I have gotten my wife a gift every week, been to the gym and fasted. My wife knows that I love her and I have not killed anyone yet. That was not on my list but I should let everyone know.
Since I am out of work "officially" I have been working with a contractor painting houses. By doing this I have fully learned the difference between a skill worker and an educated worker. The guys I work with are smart but not what you would call educated. They all have been to prison at least once. Most of them either have or have had a drug addiction and none of them are what you would consider normal. I will give you an example. One fellow was talking about what he was going to do over the New Years holiday. Let me give you a background on his character first. He is 36 years old and we went to the same high school and know some of the same people. I never knew him as he is a few years older than me and dropped out. Back to the story. He said that his buddies invited nim over to there house to do some "Backyard Wrestling." Oh I said Backyard Wrestling. They even went out and bought some old tables so they could throw each other into them and break them. He was excited about the prospect of throwing his buddies onto one of these old tables. He even had his costume picked out. I would tell you that there was going to be alcohol involved but you already knew that.
Another guy was in jail for running a crack house and letting prostitutes use his house as a store front. WHAT! Where do these people come from? He is a super nice guy and while doing his time he learned painting a trade. He seems to be quite good at what he does.
Guy 3 is crazy. He was in the military doing what I believe to be demolition. We were talking the other day and he told me that while he was in the service he learned how to make explosives and take them apart. He told me the steps on how to make homemade C4. That is a handy skill everyone needs to know I am sure.
Guy 4 goes by the philosophy of "it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
The main contractor is a super nice guy. He just roles with everything, keeps everybody inline and busy.
All these guys are skilled at what they do but I would not call them "educated", except for the main conrtactor. They all like to bitch about each others work and how the contractor could do things differently or better or how they could make more money else where. To that I say, If you do not like the way things are ran, start your own business. I told this to my guys a few times when I had my own business. If they got to bitching to much about how things were and what I should do I would tell them to go get 6 thousand dollars worth of equipment a truck and pick up their own contracts. For some reason they were always there to work the next day. No one ever did that. hmm
I am sooo ready to find a job that will let me support my family.

Sunday, January 01, 2006


This is going to be an awesome year! I know this because I am excited about the resolutions I have made. I actually kept one that I had last year, to get back into some pants I had not worn in a year. This year I have that one and a couple of others to add.
Here they are in no particular order:
  1. Buy my wife 52 small, "just because" gifts. I want her to know everyweek that I love her and think about her.
  2. Loose 30 pounds. I want to find my abs this year. I intend to loose the first 10 before the end of Febuary.
  3. Find a job. Yes I am still looking.
  4. Help my wife become a million dollar producer her first year in realestate. We will both have our license but I will only be able to do it part time.
  5. Fast at least once a month. I have set aside the first three days of the month (in my mind anyway) as a time for my body to heal abd to focus.
  6. Stop using tobacco. I have been dipping for about 15 years and my wife and kids keep asking me to stop. Iam not excited about stopping. Hopefully the fasting will help. Pray for Joy and the kids.

That's it. That is what I want to accomplish this year. I will try to keep everyone ,both of you, posted on my progress. Good luck on your resolutions this year.

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