I'm not lost. I'm taking the scenic route.

A lot of this is a love note to my wife but there will occasionally be a random thought thrown in every once in a while.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Fear? What Fear?

I hate heights. It is that simple. If I get any higher than my soapbox I get a little nervous. But I have a greater fear of not having any money so, I can over come. Knowing this fear of heights what is something that I do in the winter for extra cash? I hang Christmas lights for people. Makes NO SENSE! It is just a few houses but still. On one house I have to actually climb onto the roof to put the lights at the highest part of the house which is also right over the driveway. HATE IT! Another house is even worse. It is in a exclusive neighborhood with VERY big houses. The pitch of the roofline is very steep and it has shaker shingles. This all adds up to me not even thinking about climbing up there. So instead I have to get a 20' extension ladder and climb that sucker after I have extended it damn near all the way up! Not fun for me. It does have its comical moments. There is on part of the house where I get to the top of the ladder and have to lean over the top of it. As you can figure out this makes the bottom of the ladder a little light. Normally I have someone, (my wife) come over to help by holdong the ladder. Well she wasn't there so it was all me. So I am leaning over the ladder, the bottom is getting light and all of the sudden, "OH &*%$!!!" The ladder slid back about 3 inches! Scared the bejesus out of me! Next came the really high part. My wife had returned by now and stopped laughing at the ladder slipping story so she was ready to help again. I place the ladder at the tallest part of the house and start to get myself psyched up to the accent. I get about half way up and am really wanting to concentrate on not falling, carrying the staple gun, not falling, getting this job done and not falling. Anyway, my wife decides she wants to start in with the pep talk. "Your doing great. Don't look down, It will be over in a minute just keep thinking about the money." I had to tell her to stop. She was throwing off the concentration. I am freakin' 35 feet in the air and if I fall I will proabably survive but be very hurt and very pissed off.
I know it is crazy but but I even play this silly game with myself when we fly somewhere. After I have gotten on the plane, which is preceded by several drinks, I get comfortable and check out the skymall catalog or whatever magazine I have brought. Then when we are taking off I gauge my survival possiblities by how high we are. I will calm down after we reach the point of certain death. I figure if I am going to be in a plane crash I do not really want to be a trapped in a wrecked plane injured and waiting for the recue team to try and find me or worse, survive the impact only to be burned alive in the post-impact fire.
Well, here's to safe traveling this holiday season.


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