I'm not lost. I'm taking the scenic route.

A lot of this is a love note to my wife but there will occasionally be a random thought thrown in every once in a while.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Fear? What Fear?

I hate heights. It is that simple. If I get any higher than my soapbox I get a little nervous. But I have a greater fear of not having any money so, I can over come. Knowing this fear of heights what is something that I do in the winter for extra cash? I hang Christmas lights for people. Makes NO SENSE! It is just a few houses but still. On one house I have to actually climb onto the roof to put the lights at the highest part of the house which is also right over the driveway. HATE IT! Another house is even worse. It is in a exclusive neighborhood with VERY big houses. The pitch of the roofline is very steep and it has shaker shingles. This all adds up to me not even thinking about climbing up there. So instead I have to get a 20' extension ladder and climb that sucker after I have extended it damn near all the way up! Not fun for me. It does have its comical moments. There is on part of the house where I get to the top of the ladder and have to lean over the top of it. As you can figure out this makes the bottom of the ladder a little light. Normally I have someone, (my wife) come over to help by holdong the ladder. Well she wasn't there so it was all me. So I am leaning over the ladder, the bottom is getting light and all of the sudden, "OH &*%$!!!" The ladder slid back about 3 inches! Scared the bejesus out of me! Next came the really high part. My wife had returned by now and stopped laughing at the ladder slipping story so she was ready to help again. I place the ladder at the tallest part of the house and start to get myself psyched up to the accent. I get about half way up and am really wanting to concentrate on not falling, carrying the staple gun, not falling, getting this job done and not falling. Anyway, my wife decides she wants to start in with the pep talk. "Your doing great. Don't look down, It will be over in a minute just keep thinking about the money." I had to tell her to stop. She was throwing off the concentration. I am freakin' 35 feet in the air and if I fall I will proabably survive but be very hurt and very pissed off.
I know it is crazy but but I even play this silly game with myself when we fly somewhere. After I have gotten on the plane, which is preceded by several drinks, I get comfortable and check out the skymall catalog or whatever magazine I have brought. Then when we are taking off I gauge my survival possiblities by how high we are. I will calm down after we reach the point of certain death. I figure if I am going to be in a plane crash I do not really want to be a trapped in a wrecked plane injured and waiting for the recue team to try and find me or worse, survive the impact only to be burned alive in the post-impact fire.
Well, here's to safe traveling this holiday season.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

What I Am Thankful For

I could be thankful for the usual stuff like being healthy, my family, my dogs and all the other things that make up my daily life. And I am very thankful for those things. I have four great kids in the house and two others that live elsewhere who are doing well. But the thing I am most thankful for this year, right now is my marriage. My wife and I had a TERRIBLE year and I am thankful we stuck it out with each other.
I am thankful for my wife's forgiveness. I have been a jerk for a long time and did not realize it until this year.
I am thankful for my own ability to forgive. I did not realize I had that much ability but I was able to dig deep and come up with it.
I am thankful for God. He has been with my wife and me all through our trials. The only time we did not see Him was when we turned our back.
I am thankful for prayerful friends. Those that prayed for us through our adoption can never be repaid what they are worth to us.
I am thankful for my new found bravery and confidence. I have been able to directly confront people that I have needed to and take care of things that have gone on for way to long.
Finally I am thankful for my wife. I lost you this year but with God's help I was able to get you back. I love you so much and cannot see a future without you in it and I never want to loose you again. You are what I am most thankful for.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Holidays Schmolidays

My daughter asked me what my favorite holiday was tonite. I had to think about it for a moment before I was able to give her an answer. I finally came up with St. Patrick's day. She was a little put off by this answer but here are my reasons:
1. You are expected to drink a little on that holiday. What is an Irish holiday with out a little beer or whiskey. After all, God invented whiskey so the Irish would not take over the world. Or so I have heard.
2. You are not expected to eat dinner with someone at a specific time and no one gets mad if you stayed at one persons house a little longer than at their house.
3. You actually get to pinch the person who is not recognizing the holiday. At Christmas you have to wait a whole year to NOT buy the jerk a present who got you nothing.
4. The only plans are to find a pub.
5. If there is a fight at the party or pub it gets blamed on the drink and not the fact that someone gave you a crappy gift.
6. You don't need a poison fungus like missletoe to get a kiss. Just a button that says, "Kiss me I am Irish." See, you don't even need to be Irish for that.
7. It's one of the only times a guy can wear a skirt and not have to be worried about being called a cross dresser.
8. You hardly ever hear the phrase, "Remeber what happened last St. Patrick's Day?" You have the beer and whiskey to thank for that.
9. Games. No I don't mean football on TV all day. I mean games you get to play. All you need is a big rock and a few people will see how far they can throw it and have a ball doing it. This was probably thought up after much beer and whiskey.
I don't really have anything against the Big 3 Holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, My Wife's b-day). All I am saying is that they would be a little, no a lot, more enjoyable if they were more like St. Patty's Day.
Ok. My real favorite holiday is Christmas. I love to see my kids faces in the morning when they are opening the gifts from Santa. The happiness in my 14 and 12 year old's when they get that one gift they thought they missed out on is hard to beat amd the magic in the eyes of my 6 and 3 year old's melts my heart and makes me want them to stay that age forever. And watching my wifes go from astonishment to happiness when she opens her special gift shows me what she looked like as a child on Christmas morning. I love buying for my wife and kids. I think they like it too.
I remember the excitment when the Sears Christmas catalog came. I would look through the toy sevtion about 10 times a day and pick out what I wanted over and over and show it to my parents as many times. Now my 6 year old does that to me when we get a Christmas catalog. My 3 year old has gotten ahold of that trick now too. Truth be told I miss those old Sears catalogs. I would love to go through one over and over again.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Drive Me Crazy

My wife knows exactly what to do to make we nuts for her. We are taking our daughter to see 'Harry Potter' today and she is wearing something that is going to make me crazy for her all day. Nobody else will know that she has it on but I do. Nobody else will see what she is wearing but I will. Nobody else will be thinking about what she has on but I will. This is going to be a long day.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

More Info About Me.

***You Are Somewhat Machiavellian***
You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!
How Machiavellian Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/howmachiavellianareyouquiz/

I am almost a Prince.

***Your Hidden Talent***
You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.
What's Your Hidden Talent?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourhiddentalentquiz/

So my hidden talent is to make people suffer when I am in a bad mood? I actually have verification of that so I guess it wasn't very hidden.

***You Are 50% Weird***
Normal enough to know that you're weird...But too damn weird to do anything about it!
How Weird Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/howweirdareyouquiz/

I can live with that.

***Your Power Color Is Teal***
At Your Highest:
You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future.
At Your Lowest:
You feel in a slump and lack creativity.
In Love:
You tend to be many people's ideal partner.
How You're Attractive:
You make people feel confident and accepted.
Your Eternal Question:
"What Impression Am I Giving?"
What's Your Power Color?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpowercolorquiz/

I love green!

***The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy***
In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.
Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?http://www.blogthings.com/ifyourlifewasamoviewhatgenrewoulditbequiz/

This does not suprise me at all.

***On Average, You Would Sell Out For***
At What Price Would You Sell Out?http://www.blogthings.com/atwhatpricewouldyouselloutquiz/

WOW! I thought I would be lower. Somebody make me an offer!

***You're an Passionate Kisser***
For you, kissing is about all about following your urgesIf someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of storyYou can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kissesA total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble
What Kind of Kisser Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofkisserareyouquiz/

They keep me married.

***What Your Sleeping Position Says***
You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.Shy and private, you yearn for security.You take relationships slowly. You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.
What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyoursleepingpositionsayaboutyouquiz/


***You Are a Martini***
There's no other way to say it: you're a total lush.You hold your liquor well, and you hold a lot of it!
What Mixed Drink Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatmixeddrinkareyouquiz/

I actually like Margerittas much better. On the rocks, not frozen. Frozen drinks are for chicks. Unless the are Pina Coladas.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

They Only Think They Know Me.

You Are Likely a First Born
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.At work and school, you do best when you're researching.When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

Yes I have a little sister.

***You Are 32 Years Old***
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
What Age Do You Act?http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/

Oh, they are good but a little off. I'm 33.

***The Keys to Your Heart***
You are attracted to good manners and elegance.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/

I "treasure marriage and treat it as sacred" yet I feel I can discard it at any time. Yeah, what ever. Read some of my other blogs to see how I feel about being married.

***Your IQ Is 100***
Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Above Average
A Quick and Dirty IQ Testhttp://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/

Not to bad.

***Slow and Steady***
Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.
They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.
It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.
They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.
How Do People See You?http://www.blogthings.com/howdopeopleseeyouquiz/


They only think they know me.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Broke Down, Damn!

I am jobless. I have not been without a job since I have been married. Ok, there was the short period of time a few years ago when I wasn't working but I technically wasn't unemployed. I owned my own lawn business and it was winter, so there was not much grass to mow. But now I am jobless. The reason I got for my dismissal, and I have it in writing, is that enrollment was down for the degree I recruit for. Let me give you a quick history. I worked for a private university and I was the assistant director of a degree program. What that means is that I did was recruit new students, take care of existing students, make out yearly schedules, design advertising and set it up to run in print and on radio. I also set the schedule for week end classes. The person that had this position before me only had one person show up for registration for his last class. ONE! That means if I got two for my first registration I would increase the next class size by 100% right? I was there long enough to do three registrations. My first one had 7 people. My second had 9 people and my last registration had 12 people sign up and start class. Does this sound like the program was not growing? Didn't think so. Here is how I found out. Last thursday my director tells me she would like to have a meeting with me at nine the next morning. I asked if I needed to prepare anything and she sad, "No." I knew something was up. A meeting that you are invited to with no agenda cannot be good. I made sure I got to work a little early that morning. At nine sharp she and the Dean come into my office. At that point I knew what was going to happen. They were very nice about everything, let me know I was getting laid off and not fired and then let me go home. When I walked in the door my wife looked suprised. She asked why I was home and I told her I was not going back. She looked at me with a puzzled/terrified look on her face. After we talked about it everything was fine. She said that she thought I had left work on an errand for the school and had stopped by for a little romance. (wink wink) To say she was a little suprised at why I was REALLY home was a bit of a downer.
Now it may sound like I am bitter about what happened but I really am not. I graduated from the school and am proud of the work that I did there and hope them nothing but the best. I have many friends there and will stay in contact with them. The truth is I was looking for another job any way. I have four kids and a wife I REALLY like to buy for. Check out my other entries and see. The school was not able to pay me what I need to do what I want. In fact I had a phone interview last Tuesday while sitting in my office! I have faith that this is an opportunity for me to find a job with higher pay and better benefits so I can take better care of my family.
I just hope that my next job does nto require a lot of spelling.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Are Those Construction Noises?

I have a challenge for construction crews and public bathroom designers. Why don't you put some effort into finding a material to sound proof bathroom stalls a little better? Instead of using the lamnent board or marble sides for the stall can't there be a material that is a little more sound absorbant and still hygenic and durable? I understand the use of tile on the floor but it seems like the walls could be made of a more sound deadening substance.
I will give you an example of why I feel this is necessary. The other day I was out and eating a bag of fruit trail mix. This stuff is very good but it has a tendancy to make me bloat...bad. I am by myself, which makes me happy, so I can go by myself to the bathroom and not have to really worry about someone waiting on me. I check everything out and the coast is clear. I choose my stall. I normally like the handicap stalls as they are a little bigger and allow more room. I hate feeling like I am in a closest when I go to the bathroom. I start to go and there is this incredibly LOUD noise, and it came from me! I thought, "OH MY GOD!" I sat there for a minute with my eyes shut in horror. I listened for someone to bust out in laughter but no one did. I was still alone. I relaxed and got ready again. Same thing. Loud noise. Only this time it was followed by a large sigh. I felt soooo much better. But here is another danger in the bath room. Along with making the stalls sound proof they need to be higher for taller people. Because when I stood up I swear the stall only came up to my chest. I will admit I am a tall guy, 6'3", but still... If the stalls were taller everybody woule feel more comfortable. The tall guy who does not want everybody to know he just played a whole brass section with his ass and the short guy next to him that doesn't want him looking down at him when he stands up.
I do not think I am asking much and I am sure I am not the only one with this issue. So how about it? Taller more sound proof stalls.
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