I'm not lost. I'm taking the scenic route.

A lot of this is a love note to my wife but there will occasionally be a random thought thrown in every once in a while.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

A New Way to See Things.

Today at church, yes I go to church, our pastor was talking about having new eyes. It took me back to a couple of months ago when I got new eyes and was able to see something differently. Actually it was someone, my wife. I have always loved her but I was never able to see what a wonderful, beautiful person she is. We had been fighting for about a year about different things and we were both under a lot of pressure. I swear if I had not have lived it I would not have believed it. Inside of two years we decided we were going to adopt two little girls, my wifes mother died, her step-dad started dating, her dad decided to get remarried, our adoption went from two girls to four, she had her 10 year high school reunion, her grand-mother died, and I got diagnosed with hypertension which comes with all sorts health related problems. It was a tough year and we had grown apart...way apart. It all came to a head the day after her grand-mothers funeral. We woke up that morning and the day was just different. It may have been the heavy emotion from the previous day or because everything had just built up inside us but we stayed in our room and talked, fought, cried, laughed, loved and started a new life together. It was probably the worst and the best day of my life. It was the worst because I finally realized I had not been the husband that my wife needed or deserved. I had been selfish, uncaring and distant for nine years. I had finally pushed her just about as far away as I could and still be able to see her. She was worn out with trying to hang on with very little support. As I sat there watching her cry telling me how she had tried to reach me I started to cry too. It was as if my tears washed away the scales that had been over my eyes and I saw how tender and fragile she was and how I had not taken care of her. I am not talking about the care that includes a car, food, heat, air conditioning and clothes. Those are easy. I am talking about really caring. Letting her know that I care about how she feels about things. Including her in decisions that effect both of us and just talking to her and sharing my day with her so she knew she was a part of my life. That day she went from the over emotional female that I had been married to for nine years to my beautiful, fragile, tender, loving, tolerant wife. I have never been the same since. I don't want to be the same. I had been a selfish, conceded fool and I do not want to be that way any more. Not only did I see how fragile she is but how strong she is too. She is strong enough to marry a strong-willed, pig headed, stubborn, foolish, blind man. I now know that my wife is to be cherished, and she is cherished. I now talk to my wife about my day and listen to her when she tells me about hers. My wife is a very amazing person and I am proud to be married to her. After ten years of being married I am finally really falling in love with my wife and she with me. Our marriage is stronger now than it has ever been. I am getting to know her as well as she knows me. I am finally being a husband and a man.


  • At 7:46 PM, Blogger bloggrez said…

    Disasters in the Internet Age
    On Sept. 15, through a private Web site called LATalk.org, Ruby pleaded for help.
    Just like so many Americans my friend loves the clubs and pop r & b lyrics so he went ahead and built an awesome website about pop r & b lyrics. When he's in high spirit he goes to the site and start reciting all his favorite pop r & b lyrics. Says it's good for the heart. Guess what? I gave it a shot and it works great!


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